Purgatory, Heaven, and Hell
by anamariewrites
Summary: When Rukia sees Kaien she's caught in a rush of different emotions. She doesn't know what to think, if she should think, all she knows is that he's Kaien dono, and she's Kuchiki... and seeing him again is like going through Purgatory, Heaven, and Hell.


**Author:**_ BeautifulSilverSilence  
_**Title: Purgatory, Heaven, and Hell  
Character(s): Kaien-dono, Arroniro, Rukia  
Warnings/Spoilers: Huge Spoilers for Chapter 262-263. Seriously...it's like Hughes dying in FMA  
Credits: I'd like to thank Ju-Ni's translators for chapter 262-263, the direct quote I have are from their translations, so sorry if it differs from yours.  
Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to Kubo-sensei, Silver-chan is merely using it(and abusing it) for her own good pleasure.**

**Author's Note: I wrote this last night at about 1 in the morning, ever since I read chapters 262-263  
my once dead plot bunny nibbled at me until I gave in. And I really wanted to try out this funky, 2nd person Rukia  
and I'm satisfied with the way this fic turned out. Leave me a review and I'll love you forver. Also if you check my profile I give out challenges  
to random reviewers, so who knows, you might be one. (coughShamelessReviewWhorecough)**

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Rukia doesn't know what to think when the masked arrancar appears behind her and beckons her to follow him. All she knows he that he has answers, and that she has this eerie sensation that he has much more to explain than as to why the Las Noches sky is blue. Rukia feels this _gnawing_ in the back of her mind and as it scratches and picks at her to the point of physical pain, she knows she has to follow this masked arrancar, she just doesn't know why. 

When Rukia follows him into that darkness filled room, she still doesn't know what to think. But as her eyes are wide with surprise and emotion disguising wariness, she doesn't have to worry, because at that moment her mind is blissfully blank.

This voice she hears hurts, because it sounds so hauntingly familiar and, if Rukia were one to be honest with her feelings, she would have to admit that she's terrified.

Rukia gains shivers up her spine as the door to the room closes, locking her in and making her feel inexplicably vulnerable, she's still not sure what to think, and she's not even sure if she should.

And then, when the mask is finally off, the only thing Rukia thinks is that she can't breathe, her breath is caught deep, deep down in her throat and she can't get it out, because _he's_ here, _now_, and Rukia is postitive he's dead, because she's sure she was his murderer.

The next thing she thinks is that she must either be dreaming or trapped in some sort of perverse **purgatory.** She remembers the hushed whispers and blind stares that peirced her soul as Tousen-taichou taught her about justice, and how those who commit sins will never be forgiven, and how murderers were always the worst type of people. For many years, his sayings haunted her, and she always wondered if perhaps he knew, knew that she was one of the very people that the strong, justice-enforcing taichou hated the most.

So now, Rukia's sure that it must be some divine diety's doing, that she was being damned for letting Kaien-dono die and damned for having the nerve to live on. Her breath is yet still caught in her throat and she thinks she just might asphyxiate to death because in front of her is _Kaien-dono _and breathing just isn't that high on her list of prioties.

And she manages to choke out a few words --_K-kaien-dono...Are y-you really Kaien-dono--_She feels suddenly that she must sound ridiculous, stuttering over her words like she did so long ago. Rukia can only feel insignificant because old repressed memories are still resurfacing, and all she can think is that it really hurts.

Although, Rukia _does_ seem to find it ironic that after all these years, she would have wanted Kaien-dono to see how much she's grown, but instead all she knows he sees is that same insecure Kuchiki that had tried her hardest to belong.

And, Rukia might just have let a tear or two pass from her eyes, but she's not sure because she doesn't seem to feel anything right now, she _can't_ feel anything right now, not with Kaien-dono staring at her with his expressive black eyes... those same black eyes that stared, smiling, into hers as she impaled him with her zanpakutoh.

At any other time, Rukia might have smirked, and maybe even given her trademark "Ha-ha-Ichigo-I-told-you-my-woman's-intuition-is-never-wrong" thumbs up, but now as she pleads to the arrancar to answer her, "Are you really Kaien-dono?", she finds that she can only know, breathe, feel and _think_ Kaien-dono.

And when Kaien-dono--"It's really you!"-- finally speaks, Rukia is sure that she must have died, but if so it's fine by her because Kaien-dono's here, and if he is, she's in absolute **heaven.**

He smiles at her, his warm _Kaien_ smile and says, "It's been a long time, you look fine, Kuchiki." And she knows it really has to be him, or rather she prays it's really him, because if it's not, she's sure she really _will_ die.

Kaien jumps down from the middle of the three circular cylinders in the room and lands gracefully on the floor...and all the while Rukia stands there, not knowing the first thing to do.

And she just can't decide whether to cry like she wants to, or laugh like he told her to, because right now he's just like he used to be,talking loud and boistrously, interrupting her train of thought by saying,

"What the hell?! Why are you acting so serious? Everyone's favorite vice-captain **Kaien** is alive! Aren't you happy!?"

Rukia is positive that she just_ has _to be in heaven, because Kaien-dono's warmth is surrounding her, just like it used to, and for the first time in a long time, she's completely happy.

She wants to do so many things right now, like jump and scream and _wail_, but most of all she wants to tell Kaien just how much she missed him. But instead she listens intently to what Kaien-dono has to tell her, as they sit down on the cushions he seemed to have conjoured up out of nowhere...and Rukia believes every word.

And when he interjects with another one of his ego-inflating comments, Rukia doesn't hesitate to snap right back at him, because he's Kaien-dono, and she's Kuchiki, and that's how they interact.

And when Kaien begins to tell her of the plan that he's going to execute, and how she's the only one who can carry it out, she still finds no reason to doubt him, and hops right to her feet, sprinting quickly over to him...because he's Kaien-dono, and she'd do anything for him.

But when the next thing she sees is a zanpakutoh racing towards her face, her body reacting automatically as she sees a huge flash, she doesn't have to first _damned_ clue as to what she should do.

Rukia feels the blood running down her cheek, and looks up in time to see Kaien-dono sneer--he _never_ sneers-- and once again she can't think, because Kaien-dono attacked her and as she hears him _spit_ her name back at her, she knows that she's completely lost.

Rukia feels like she's drowning because _Kaien-dono_ tried to kill her, and now as she crouches close to ground in complete silence, the world is crashing down around her, and she remembers all at once that she is Kuchiki Rukia, a noblewoman, a Shinigami, a _murderer. _And that it's naive of her to even begin to think of a happy ending, because as Tousen-taichou told her, she's the worst kind of person, and people like her just don't _get_ happy endings.

Rukia can't breathe again, and she can only think--_Kaien-donoKaien-donoKaien-donoKaien-dono--. _And in the midst of her jumbled thoughts, only two jump to the front of her mind, and the last things that Rukia thinks are:

**"Arroniro Arleri, the Ninth Espada."**

and

**"I must be in hell."**

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End file.
